Close your cowardly lips over that void in your head where your brains went missing and keep them there.
I'm Erin.Galaxies have formed to collide in me.
Shakespearean. Gamer. Sci-fi geek. Girly girl. Lord Of The Rings obsessed. Twittering. Bisexual. Liar. Pixie. Walking condratiction.
"Lesbian Vampire.
So that means you suck blood not dick, right?"
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Her love; for whose dear love - I rise and fall.
I need you so much closer.
Just how far does the universe go?
Does it ever end? You say you want to know. Just how high can you count, before the numbers all runs out?
It's been almost eight months. Almost eight amazing, months. They haven't been perfect. That's harsh I know; but they haven't. Not when I act the way I do. Eight months of hurting her. Eight months of goodbye. I don't know why I do it. Hurt her the way I do. I wish I didn't. I wish I could stop. I love her more then she'll ever know. So much more.. But I can't prove that. I can't show her. Can't tell her. Because she doesn't think she's good enough. She's so good. She's so perfect. And when I act like this, I can't show that. It's me that's not good enough. I don't do enough. But it's true: she is perfect. Perfect for me. Perfect with me. And I know I could be perfect for her.. She lights up my day, just with words. But my words are never good enough. Never special enough, or strong enough.
I didn't come here to hurt you, now I can't stop.
Actions speak louder than words. And my action break her. Oh, God they hurt her. And I don't won't to hurt her. But I'm too selfish to say goodbye, for good. What kind of person does that? How selfish do I need to be? I lie. And act against our love. There's no excuse for it. Not when I yell. Not when I take things out on her. Or get mad at the way things are. The way she is. Because she's stunning. So brilliant. She knows what to say. Even when she has nothing to say. It's so cliche, but her smile, breaks my heart. It's so gorgeous, so amazing. And I can't see it all the time. And I'm the one that takes it away. I used to be the one to put it there. Now I shatter it. But even when my hearts breaking, and hers is broken; there she is. Ready to glue me back together. I can't even show her in person how brilliant I think she is.
Where is this love? I can't see it, I can't touch it, I can't feel it. I can hear it. I can hear some words, but I can't do anything with your easy words.
Maybe that's just because I'm not like her. I don't stare, or do everything for one person. But I'm just not like that.That's how selfish I am. I love the attention she gives me. Because that's what kind of person I am. It's ridiculous how far attention gets me. I'd give up the world for her. I'd take everything I had to give, and give it straight to her. Just to hear her say anything. Even if it was just for a proper goodbye. I'd do everything for her. But I can't show her that. And it's selfish of me. It's so selfish. She makes me feel good enough. Makes me think I could be enough. And I can't do that for her.Maybe it's because we're that different. But it's still so wrong. If I didn't act like I do. If I was faithful. If I said what I really thought. Everything could be okay. I'd give anything for her to be happy again. I'd leave. I'd never talk to her if I knew that, even eventually, she'd be happy again. I don't even know what to say anymore to make her smile. Proper smile. Not laugh at the stupid things I say or do. Smile from the inside, just the way she makes me smile. The grin that never leaves me some nights because she's so perfect. And I can't do that anymore. I make her cry. I've done that in person. I've seen her cry. And nothings as bad as that. I'd give up everyone I've ever loved, everyone that's ever loved me - or ever will. Just to never see her cry again.
Take me take me back to your bed; I love you so much that it hurts my head.
She really is beautiful, flawless; mine. I love her so much, to the point that when I kiss her, I can't think. That when I think about her, I know things will be okay. Because I have her. And I will have her for a very long time to come. She gives me hope that everyone else will find someone that loves them the way she loves me - the way I love her. She makes me try, makes me want to be better. I need to be as good as her. Just to be hers. Because it's not fair to call myself hers when I'm so imperfect. Her eyes hold me in place when she makes my heart want to fly into the clouds. She makes my thoughts swirl and my metal roller coaster derail. All around one thought. All around her. I can listen to the worst songs and still find the lyrics that remind me of her. The kind of things I wish I could give her to show her how much she means to me. The way her eyes shine when songs play she likes; the way she laughs with her mouth open, and the cheeky grin she flashes when she knows she's doing something wrong. And the way that melts my heart, I'd let her kill me. The way she sings and dances. And the looks she gets when she realises how silly she looked. But how beautiful she looked to me. The noises she makes when she doesn't want me to look at her, or acknowledge something she's said or done. And how much that makes me want to hold her until the world ends. The way she laughs when I'm mad at her and I can't stay mad. The things that I hate the most about her - those things that make me love her all the more.
If I ever write the story of my life; don't be surprised if you're where it begins, girl.
I wished for her, every day. For someone like her. Someone to take away the hurt I had for a reason I couldn't even name. She filled every void anyone ever left before I even knew they'd put it there. The way she meant the world to me; the way she made me smile. Made my day perfect, just because I could talk to her. When I called her my best friend before I'd ever admit to myself I loved her as much as I did. How happy she made me, even when she'd keep me up far too late. How I'd write her name everywhere. And not even have an excuse - I have one now. I'd take back everything I ever said that hurt her; even if I'd never known I'd said it. It take away every thing I ever did that did anything other then make her happy. I'd die to know she forgave me because she could. Not because she thought she had to. Because even if she never forgave me; I'd still love her - with everything I have and had.
But if you know how strong my love is.. And your heart and mind can comprehend; just how long I'm gonna feel like this - then you'll know what infinity is.
Amy Louise; I'd give the world to call you mine until it ended. I'd never give you the stars; not when they could never compare to how stunning you are. The oceans can't compare to what's in my heart when I think about you. No one will ever love you more then this. And I'll never love anyone as much as this. My forever thing. My girlfriend. My everything. Amy ameliorate.
They say that time goes on and on, even after we're long gone. And there's a black hole up in space, that pulls so strong, light can't escape. They'll find the answers to all those mysteries, but they won't understand what's between you and me.
How do you pick up the threads of an old life?
How do you go on when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back?
There are somethings that time cannot mend, some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold.
I read, play video games and break hearts for fun. I'm obsessed with not caring what people think, only further proving I care.
I'm sadistic, masochistic and one of the nicest people you'll ever meet when I want to be.
I can't sing, I can't dance, and I don't know karate.
One night with me, and you'll be questioning your sexuality.
I adore Audrey Hepburn and black and white movies.
Shakespeare, Hemingway, Motzart, Beethoven and Frodo. My sword isn't the only thing that could penetrate your flesh.
