And I'd be ever so inclined one day to rain on her parade.
Life's one big trip.
Trip in the general meaning of it's term. In any meaning of it's term.
Sometimes the lines blur and we see things we swear aren't real - we take the drug trip.
Sometimes we take the trip. We step aboard that roller coaster in the sky and we travel, we learn and fall - we trip and stumble.
It's all adventures. Just like consequences; adventures aren't always good or bad. Sometimes they're both.
You just need to strap in and hold on. Hold on for dear life. Because you can't let go; you can't.
You can't look to the past. The past hurts, and you can't look forward because the future's too terrifying. And you can't dwell on today; because sometimes today hurts worse then anything. And today will just be another yesterday to hurt over; no matter how good it feels now. So where do you look, when you have nothing to look up to?
I look inside myself. It's awful, and I hate it. It's cold and warm and safe. I sit in the darkest corner. The one that chills my bones and warms my skin. The patch where the dust can't quite settle to the ground; because that's where I'm located. But it's dusty and there's cobwebs.
My adventures.
They fill the spaces. And some turn black and burn me when I try to feel them. Others break inside my chest and rip it apart. Some scare me - some comfort me. But that's me.
Nostalgia knows her name.
I hurt people. And plays the stupid little head games. The person that can do whatever she wants, and feel bad for it, and keep doing it. The me that thinks she knows everything. And knows she knows nothing. The me that loves enough to hurt. Not only herself, but everyone else. The me that lets go too easily sometimes, and then won't let go at all.
But then there's the times where I let go, but let invisible wires attach themselves to my heart. Invisible wires that cut and bruise but when I go to find them to cut them off - I can't see them. So then when I stumble upon them, I'm holding on tighter then ever to something I can't see. And that's when I hurt people. When I've made them think I've let go - when really it's still attached to my heart. Something that I don't know what I'm holding on to. And as I search for where it's come from I pull at everyone it effects without even knowing. I'm sorry for the things I do it to - I truly am. Even when I don't know I'm doing it.
But I'll take my seat on the roller coaster and strap myself in. 'Buy the ticket; take the ride.'
The adventures hurt but it's life. And that's all we've got. Nightmares and heartache. Life.
But alive is just a letter without life.
I've made up my mind.. I'm leaving. Please don't try and stop me. It'll hurt when you don't try - and make me feel like you don't want me there. But I need this. I need to run again. I need a reason not to love all the people that love me the way they do; especially when I don't deserve it. And I like it here. It won't be home for long, but it'll keep me gone from home long enough. And I can do this. I ruin everything, and this won't fix that. It'll break it more. But when I'm not there to show the broken pieces - it'll feel healed.
Two tiny worlds brace for our collisions.
And she swept me right of my feet.
