You're only young..
I know.. but, I can still wish for my forever, can't I? Don't I deserve that much? Atleast one thing forever. Maybe I don't.. This 'forever thing' is far more then I deserve, far more then I ever wished for. And I know, I don't deserve something as brilliant as this.
But, this is what you deserve.. Karma.
Okay, so this is what I deserve. But not from that point of view.. I deserve to be hurt. And for her not to love me. I deserve that.. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt more then it should.
She doesn't love you, know of them love you. Who would love you?
She does love me, I know she loves me. Right?
Yes.
But, this hurts. Why does it hurt?
Because she doesn't love you..
Then why is she doing this?
Exactly. Because she doesn't love you. She doesn't know what love is. You're her escape. Her way to deal. And you see the perfection where so many don't. All she wanted was someone like you. And now, that's what she has.
Someone like you.
I can be perfect for her? I will be.
You can't be perfect for anyone. All you do is hurt people. People that loved you. People that cared when she made you this way.
She made me this way?
You know she did. You never used to fall so hard down here. Down to having to listen to me, when she didn't do this.
Do what?! What is she doing?!
Being misleading..
Misleading?
Yes.
But. SHE LOVES ME!
Of course.
Then why?
Because she doesn't 'love' you the way you 'love' her.
She just can't show it.
You've fallen so hard this time. And is she helping you back into sanity?
..Yes
Or is she keeping you in the purgatory of me? Where you can't feel anything, but anger and sadness. And that emotion you push aside so often. Hate. You know, he doesn't enjoy being pushed aside, that's why he comes back so strong so often. If you could get angry when you were meant to and say how you feel.. this wouldn't happen. You should be happy. Even if she doesn't want you.
SHE DOES WANT ME!
Really now? But, she told you herself she didn't.
..She thinks she does
Thinks she does. She doesn't know. She'd rather be happy with everyone else, wouldn't she?
They're just closer.
You could be closer?
No I couldn't.
Length and space isn't all you're distant with, Erin.
I let her in.
Do you? Then why arn't you telling her this?
..I promised.
Didn't you promise to tell her when you were upset?
Yes.
Then..
This is different!
Yes, because you can't pull yourself out this time, Erin. You need her to. But she doesn't want to.
She wants to.. I just can't let her..
Why not?
..I don't know
How can you not know?
Because I don't chose to feel like this, or let you in. You appear. I can't help when you come back and make me sick, and feel this way.
There are no words for this.
..No really?
Why don't you tell her then? You love her, don't you?
More then anything else..
Then..
..Do you know what it's like to love someone so much and worry if they feel the same way?
I am you.
Shutup.
Well..
Yes, I love her.. And she does love me!
I know.
Then why am I doing this to myself?
Like you said; you can't help it.
But I want to. I need to.
Fall into her.
I can't..
You can learn.
Can I?
This isn't your fault remember. Paranoia rolls with us. And, we know you can't sleep. Insomnia and him are joined.
You're not me.
No, but you adapt us.
When I fall.
When you fall.
Am I pushing her away?
Yes.
Is it me?
Yes.
..But why?
Because she hurts you.
No she..
Yes, she does. You love her too much to see. You'd forgive her for anything.
I want her to be happy.
She wants you to be happy, too.
I know.
Then?
Help me?
Only she can do that.. You need her.
I can't help this.
Learn to, learn to and save yourself.
But if she..
No. She helps. But without you, she can't save you. Save yourself. She doesn't want you to give up. None of them do.
But I can't feel anything, anyway.
Really? Think, get past us. What can you feel?
Her.
And?
I love her. Why are you doing this?
I did it because I care. And you do things like that when you care. Not that you'd know what that feels like.
I care.
I know.
Then.. Why?
Why what, dear?
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?
This is you..
Will she understand?
Does anyone?
Not usually.
Then risk it.
I don't want to lose her.
I know. Forever thing, right?
Right.
You're only young.
..I quite like the idea of her forever
Then, don't fall into us for help. Ask her.
I..
She loves you.

Maybe.

"I swear that I can go on forever again
Please let me know that my one bad day will end
I will go down as your lover, your friend
Give me your lips and with one kiss we begin

Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you

I'll leave my room open till sunrise for you
I'll keep my eyes patiently focused on you
Where are you now I can hear footsteps I'm dreaming
And if you will, keep me from waking to believe this

Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you"

I didn't mean it.. I.. can help it. But, I'm sick of being mad. I should be mad at the one person I shouldn't be. Maybe, that's why it hurts? Because I can't be mad at you. But I am. And my hearts trying desperately to regect this. That's why it hurts. Maybe, isn't nice..

I'll be fine, I swear, I'm just gone beyond repair.